Expert Tips for a Better Sex Life: Things You Might Not Have Tried Yet

Does sex feel a little, well, repetitive? Are you doing the same old positions, the same rhythm, the same place, the same time week after week?. Well, you are not alone, and many of us stick to what we know because, well, like eating your favourite meal, you know it does the job.

But it's time you encourage yourself to find the fun in exploration and curiosity about what you might be holding yourself back from.

So, if your sex life feels a little predictable (or you're curious to add more spark), here are some expert-approved ideas that many people haven't tried yet, but absolutely should.

1. Learn What You Actually Want First

Before you bring anyone else into the picture, get really honest about your own pleasure. What feels good on your body? What kinds of sensations or fantasies pique your interest or make your stomach flutter? What have you always been curious about but never said out loud?

Exploring your own pleasure isn't selfish; it's foundational. For example, this could mean experimenting with touch, temperature, toys, or even imagining different scenarios. The more you understand your desires, the easier it becomes to share them with someone else.

2. Learn to Talk About Sex Without Blushing

Talking about sex is often more complex than the sex itself. We are not taught about sexual communication, but rather to use our bodies and only that. But open communication is where real erotic potential lives and where you truly get to express what you desire without confusion.

If you're not used to naming your desires, start small and start from a place that feels the most authentic to you. For example, send a cheeky text, share this article, mention that you're curious about what's been mentioned, or even write a little love note and place it in their bag, lunch box, or bedside drawer. The key is that you don't need to give a TED Talk about your fantasies; you just need a doorway into the conversation.

Over time, the awkwardness fades, and confidence grows. And talking about sex in turn makes the sex better. It's a win-win. Trust me!

3. Try No Sex (Yes, Really)

If things are feeling flat, predictable or a little less electric than they used to, stop having sex altogether… for a bit anyway.

A short pause can reset your erotic tension and rebuild anticipation and the excitement to re-engage. Spend a couple of weeks flirting, teasing, hinting, sexting, sharing fantasies, describing what you can't wait to do… but not actually doing it. The build-up can be ridiculously hot, sometimes hotter than the main event.

Absence doesn't just make the heart grow fonder; it can make the libido recharge, too. Think back to when you first started dating, and what was the build-up to sex like? Did you spend time apart? Flirting over text? Or simply allowing each other some space to get prepped, shaved and sexy before the intimacy began.

And you might not be able to mentally tap back into being the exact people you were at the start. I get it, life has happened, and stress, comfort, routine, all of it reshapes how intimacy feels. But you can reconnect with the ingredients that once made it exciting. You can borrow elements of that early energy, like the playful messages, the mystery and the slow burn. You're not trying to recreate your past selves; you're trying to reawaken the parts of your dynamic that still exist underneath the day-to-day.

4. Explore a New Sensation — Not Just a New Place

When people say they want to "spice things up," the default is usually a new position, a fancy dinner, or booking a hotel room. But a change of scenery rarely transforms a sex life. How many times have you gone away thinking holiday sex would magically fix everything, only to find yourselves slipping into the same old routine? Sometimes a romantic getaway adds even more pressure, the expectation to perform, to reconnect, to make it perfect, and that pressure can make intimacy feel even harder to reach, ultimately leading to more avoidance, not less.

Try exploring sensations that spark a desire for more, rather than needing to perform. Some of my favourites are:

• Temperature play (warm oil, cool metal toys, even an ice cube)
• Texture play (silicone toys, soft floggers, feathers, satin sheets)
• Pressure play (gentle restraints, weighted blankets, bodyweight)
• Rhythm play (vibrators, pulsation, edging)
• Teasing (use a toy to bring your partner to peak pleasure on your terms)

This is where our toys can shine and support you in new sensations. Adding a completely new feeling can unlock pleasure your body didn't know it could have.

5. Create a 'One New Thing' Rule

Most couples fall into erotic autopilot without meaning to — same time, same script, same pattern. A simple rule can shift everything. Starting now, you both try one new thing together each month.

It might be:

• A new toy
• A new type of foreplay
• A new fantasy
• A new room
• A new dynamic (like taking turns giving instructions)

It keeps curiosity alive, removes pressure, and allows you both to bring something new to the table that you have been curious to try. Think of it like trying a new restaurant when the Nando's down the road starts to dull the taste buds.

6. Use Toys the Way You Haven't Been Using Them

Most people use toys in the most predictable way: point, turn on, wait for the magic to happen. But toys can be incredibly versatile if you let them. Here are a few tried-and-tested ways to get a little adventurous...

• Using your favourite vibrator around the body, not just on the genitals. For example, the nipples, the perineum or the ear lobes.
• Letting your partner hold the toy for you and directing them to the areas or positions you want. You touch the toy, you have to pay the price.
• Combining two toys for layered sensations. While you place one on the genitals, have your partner explore your erogenous zones with another.

When you stop thinking of toys as tools and start thinking of them as extensions of your pleasure, everything changes, and things begin to look and feel a little more exciting.

Final Thoughts

A better sex life isn't about performance, pressure or trying to be the "perfect" lover. It's about curiosity, communication, playfulness, and allowing yourself to explore what feels good, without shame, rules or a script.

And remember: your sex life doesn't need to be broken to get better. Sometimes it only takes one new idea to create a whole new level of connection and pleasure.