Ever thought about buying your bestie a sex toy?

Instead of flowers or cash in a card, why not gift them the gift of pleasure? Now, it might sound a bit unexpected, but hear me out.

Over the years, as a sexpert, I've gifted plenty of my friends toys for birthdays, Christmas, and even boxed up a delightful bag of goodies for a wedding gift. And every single time, the reaction has been the same: laughter, curiosity, and later (after they've had a little alone time), a very grateful message. 

I started gifting my friends toys because I realised how many of them were actually curious about self-exploration and the work I do, but never really invested in exploring it. For some, it was their first-ever toy; for others, it was a chance to rediscover their body after a breakup or just years of putting their own needs last. It's not really about the toy itself, but what it represents: confidence, curiosity, and the permission to prioritise feeling good.

That said, it's important to be mindful. Not everyone may feel ready to receive a gift like this, and that's okay. Think about your relationship with that person. Do you openly talk about sex, body confidence, or pleasure? If so, it could be the perfect surprise.

Remember, the goal isn't to shock; it's to celebrate pleasure in a way that feels safe, thoughtful, and aligned with where that person is on their journey.

Pleasure is Self-Care

A sex toy isn't just a "naughty" present, it's also a tool to explore self-care, and we all know by now that an orgasm can help us unwind, de-stress, and reconnect with our bodies and even help us sleep better. Gifting a toy doesn't have to be something naughty or taboo, but rather a gift that allows your mate to feel, relax and be more connected to themselves.

We gift our friends candles for relaxation, skincare for confidence, and bath bombs for calm, so why not a vibrator, stroker, or wand for joy, fun and a little exploration?

Breaking the 'Taboo Talk' with Your Bestie

If you can talk to your friend about bad dates and cramps, you can talk about sex toys (if it feels safe to do so). Normalising these chats and being the first one to bring it up can help break the shame that still clings to pleasure and the use of toys, especially for people who've grown up believing it's "inappropriate" or that self-exploration is only for those with a penis.

The Conversation Before the Gift

Before you pop a vibrator into a gift bag, it's worth opening up a small conversation first, not to ask permission per se, but to gauge curiosity and comfort. 

You could mention a podcast, article, or something funny you saw on social media to test the waters. If your friend leans in, laughs, or starts asking questions, that's your green light. Sometimes, the most meaningful part of the gift isn't the toy itself, but the shared understanding that pleasure is normal and healthy and can be spoken about with a trusted friend.

The Perfect Bed Nerdz Picks for Bestie Gifts

Here are a few feel-good toys worth adding to your gifting list:

• The Cali Wand – For a stress-melting massage or full-body buzz (you choose).
• Joey the Cock Ring – Because some besties love a shared adventure.
• Sandy the Bullet – Sleek, discreet, and guaranteed to spark joy.

The Gift of all Gifts

Gifting a vibrator doesn't have to be this weird thing, in fact, it might be the very present your friend didn't know they needed. A toy can be a reminder that pleasure is part of wellbeing, that curiosity is healthy, and that there's joy to be found in exploring our own bodies. 

If gifting a vibrator sparks a few giggles, a new conversation about sex or your bodies, or a moment of confidence in front of the mirror, you're not just giving them a toy, you're giving them permission to feel good and feel less alone. And that's a gift that lasts far longer than flowers ever could.