What’s your aftercare language? Because great sex isn't the finale

Great sex doesn't end when the orgasm (or no orgasm) does.

If we're only focusing on the build-up and the bang, we're missing one of the most important pieces of the puzzle: aftercare.

The moments after sex matter just as much as the ones before and during. Aftercare is the act of tending to yourself and/or your partner once the physical activity has ended, because sex can stir up all kinds of things like sweat, hormones, emotions and even vulnerability.

So on Sexual Health Awareness Day, let's go deeper and talk about what it means to look after your sexual health after sex—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

So… What Is Aftercare, Really?

Aftercare refers to the rituals, practices, or check-ins that help regulate your body and mind after sex. This can include:

• A cuddle and a glass of water
• Being alone for a period of time
• Checking in on emotions or physical sensations
• Applying lube or balm to any sensitive spots
• Taking a shower together or alone
• Talking about what felt good (or what didn't)
• Simply lying in silence, holding each other

But just like love languages, aftercare looks different for everyone. Just because you like a snuggle doesn't mean your partner wants the same thing, so make sure to talk about what you both need straight after some sexy time.

Which brings us to the big question… What's Your Aftercare Language?

We all give and receive care differently, and knowing your "aftercare language" can help not only the relationship thrive and feel safe, but it can also help sexual satisfaction.

Here are a few common ones:

💬 Words of Affirmation

A gentle "You were amazing" or "That felt really special" can go a long way in making someone feel seen, especially after emotionally charged or first-time experiences. Remember, words can go a long way in sex and intimate moments, especially when we have been taught to stay silent and use only our bodies... words are sexy too!

🤲 Physical Comfort

Cuddles, strokes, skin-on-skin contact or any other form of touch can help regulate your nervous system and can soothe any post-sex vulnerability. It shows each other that you are present, here and ready to nurture the closeness and shared experience you both just had together.

🧠 Mental Check-Ins

Sex can bring up big emotions. A quick chat like, "How are you feeling?" or "Was there anything you want to talk about?" can offer space to process, especially if the sex brought up memories, insecurities, or new sensations. Being mentally aware of your own feelings and having a safe space to express them is crucial for emotional well-being.

🧴 Physical Support

Jump in the shower, apply any creams or aftercare balm to any areas that feel sore or sensitive. Pee after sex to reduce UTI risk. Rehydrate. Put on clean underwear. This is self-love in action. Caring for your body is just as important as caring for your mind.

🍫 Acts of Service

Get them a snack. Run a bath. Tuck them in. Offer a cup of tea. These small gestures show you care beyond sex.

Why It Matters (Especially Today)

Sex is powerful. It can release feel-good chemicals like oxytocin, but it can also stir up feelings of exposure, abandonment, confusion, or shame, especially if you've had tricky sexual histories or lack trust in your partners.

On Sexual Health Awareness Day, we're here to remind you that good sex doesn't just mean 'pleasure in the moment.' It's also about creating safety and satisfaction in the aftermath. Aftercare is a part of responsible, consensual, connected sex. It's not an optional extra—it's part of the package.

Want Better Sex? Start With Better Aftercare.

Whether you're solo, dating, or in a long-term relationship, aftercare should be a conversation. Ask yourself:

• What helps me feel good, grounded, or safe after sex?
• Do I need space, or closeness?
• Is there something I want to say but often don't?

Then, talk about it with your partner(s). The better you understand each other's aftercare needs, the better your sexual experiences become overall. Because let's face it—the true mark of great sex isn't just how loud it was… It's also how you feel afterwards.